13 years ago I had started counting down the days to the release of Episode I.  This was a very different time.  It was the age of 56kbps internet, cell phone screens were black and green, and there were no hipsters, because looking like and being a geek was still uncool.  Most importantly though, you actually had to buy your movie tickets at a theater, none of this online ticketing, and especially none of this months-in-advance purchase.  Hence, the last 6 weeks of my freshman year of high school were spent camping out at the local box office.

Each day brought me closer and closer to the movie event of my life.  Then we found out something special, they would be showing the first screenings of the movie at midnight!  This was a totally new phenomenon.  That night arrived and I took my seat.  The lights dimmed and the 20th Century Fox opening greeted me, followed by the yellow floating-through-space words that had become so iconic.

What followed was the most disappointing 136 minutes I could have ever imagined.  But I was in for even more disappointment.  I waited, optimistically hoping the next two installments would be better.  They were, but it was like saying one rotten apple is slightly less rotten than another.

As the title says, this is the 100th post on MySciFi.  I could think of no better topic than this: Why the Star Wars prequels should be forgotten.

There are two types of Star Wars fans, those that hate the prequels, and everybody else.  With the help of a few friends (and Barney Stinson), I’ve developed a general theory of prequel hating.  If you’re born after 1988, chances are you liked the prequels, born before, you probably hate them.  Why?  Because the older crowd was that, just too old; the asinine antics of Jar-Jar (may he die a horrible death), the general childish tone of it all and the terribly awkward relationships between what should have been an amazing set of characters.

I could launch into a major discussion about the failings of each episode, but I’d rather let a far more intelligent and well versed individual do that.  Behold, Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace, as it probably should have been:

That’s why Episode I was terrible, not because it didn’t do something, because it did all the wrong things!  You can take the same approach to II and III, they just went this direction that was obvious, childish, and utterly awkward in every approach.

If someone likes the prequels, are they less of a Star Wars fan?  No, they’re just enjoying the expanded view of the whole sage.  And if you hate them, you can still appreciate the attempt to tell a well crafted narrative about the rise and fall of Anakin/Vader.

My last criticism of the prequels will be one I mention constantly, the continuity set in episodes IV-VI is totally screwed over in I-III.  If you don’t trust me, watch them all, and at several points you’re gonna have a confused, “WTF, that didn’t happen the way they said it did, even though it’s after the fact” face on.  Combining all these major failings, and these are movies that should be left to the annals of history, and totally forgotten.